Software Vault: The Gold Collection

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Text File | 1993-04-04 | 48KB | 939 lines

████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████ NEWSLETTER UPDATE ████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████ Do you have a press release, an idea, a disk, a shareware catalog or a need for a program which relates to the shareware software industry? Shareware authors and vendors would like your information! Send press releases, product announcements and shareware for possible inclusion within this package. Submit text in ASCII on disk so it can be imported directly into this package. Please note that older material from previous SMS newsletters, containing valuable marketing information, has been moved to the SMS archives. Consult the GOODIES section of SMS for information on ordering this archived material (SMS catalog number SMS-202.) -------------------------------------------------------------- Newsletter: Spring 1993 Edition -------------------------------------------------------------- As with every issue of SMS, we have quite a bit to cover! On part A, or disk one, of this edition of SMS you will find a copy of the new STARgazer newsletter... STARGAZR.EXE Self-extracting file. Official newsletter of STAR, Shareware Trade Association & Resources. STARgazer has celebrity writers, human interest stories, controversy, resources, ads, letters to the editor, transcripts of the first STAR meeting. STARgazer vol 1, no. 1 And another change: examine the newly updated structure of the SMS mailing list database contained within the files DATABASE.EXE and DATABAS2.EXE. Database fields COUNTRY and COMPUSERVE ID have been added to the mailing list. Review the following template for exact information: Field Type Width ----------- ---------- ----------- COMPANY Text 44 ADDRESS Text 58 CITY Text 30 STATE Text 39 ZIP Text 12 DATE REVISE Date 10 TYPE Text 6 RATING Text 2 LABELTOP Text 40 FIRSTNAME Text 20 LASTNAME Text 24 POSITION Text 30 DAY TEL Text 31 BBS TEL Text 18 FAX TEL Text 21 TOLLFREE OR Text 13 AFFILIATION Text 13 PRINT? Text 1 REMARKS1 Text 80 REMARKS2 Text 80 COUNTRY Text 17 CIS ID Text 11 Next, a fascinating article submitted by Timothy Campbell of Canada. Note the short list of TOP RATED disk vendors contained in this article by Timothy: FROM: Timothy Campbell, Pinnacle Software DATE: January 6th, 1993 CompuServe: 70154,1577; GEnie: T.CAMPBELL11; BBS: 514-345-8654 (9600 V32) Dear Jim, Well, it has been a few months (actually, about 2 years) since I wrote to you about my experiences in the wonderful world of shareware. I'm hoping that some of what I say below will be helpful to other authors. I'll start with some personal musing (if you don't mind) then get into the nitty gritty a little later. WHERE I'M AT ------------ Last month, I had my best month ever in shareware. I'm still no powerhouse, but I did drag in $1200 in registrations. Adding that to the money I earned from some contract programming (yes, I still subsidize my shareware work), I actually managed to pay my bills on time. I have still not joined the ASP, nor do I intend to at any point in this life or any other. However, although I do not accept the tenets of that organization, I do greatly respect and enjoy communicating with fine people such as Paul Mayer (past president) and Bob Schenot (Compliance Committee), both of whom have been very helpful to me and unfailingly polite, despite my differing and sometimes loudly expressed views. At the moment, I have a couple dozen shareware products out there, about half of which are unfortunately obsolescent. They got that way because people didn't register them. Yeah, that's it ... I'll blame them. OVERVIEW OF THIS LETTER ----------------------- In this letter, I'll discuss the following Pinnacle Software products: Sapphire, the Zero-Maintenance BBS Parse-O-Matic, the Import/Export Expert The SEE Utilities The GO installation program SmartPhone, the Area Code Hunter Each story has some information that I believe will be of interest to authors. Afterwards, I'll cover some wide-ranging topics, from legal to moral issues. I'm all over the place. Maybe I should write more frequently so it wouldn't pile up like this. EXPERIENCES WITH SAPPHIRE ------------------------- This is my only product that is SERIOUSLY non-ASP-compliant. It earns me about half of my money. If I didn't emphasize that enough: all of the more-or-less ASP-compliant programs added together don't earn as much money as this one. In all fairness, Sapphire has been out there for a lot longer than most of my other products. I've discovered that one of the secrets of success is to go back in time and make sure that an old version of your product gets placed on one of the PC-SIG CD- ROMs! Sapphire is what I call "Extendware": when used unregistered, it imposes some limits after 45 days have elapsed; prior to that it is 100% functional. But once the 45 day trial period has expired, the user can phone me, and I give him a 45-day extension code. It takes about a minute. (European copies have a 90-day trial period.) If the program is not run for 10 days, the 45-day trial period resets all by itself. This means that ONLY people who use the program continously will have to phone for an extension. The user can get as many as 9 extensions, so he can, in theory, evaluate the program for over a year without paying me for it. No user has EVER complained about Extendware (what could they say?). I only get complaints from distributors, and authors who insist that it's a form of crippling. ADVERTISING I took out three months worth of ads in Boardwatch magazine -- which is a journal for BBS sysops and other people interested in digital telecommunications. The ads (one-sixth page) offered a FREE evaluation copy. All the person had to do was phone and I'd mail him one. Well, three months and several hundred dollars later, I had received perhaps three dozen inquiries and shipped out lots of sample disks. I think I got one reg, maybe two. Clearly, this was not a successful marketing campaign. Bob Schenot suggested to me that I was wrong to place my ad in a magazine that caters to "power sysops", since my product is oriented towards beginner sysops and people who just need an "appliance" kind of BBS. He may be right. However, I know that there are some other (well known) authors who have spent more money in far more general publications, and who got almost no reponse at all. I have yet to hear from an author who is making magazine advertising pay. EXPERIENCES WITH PARSE-O-MATIC ------------------------------ Oh joy, oh bliss! This is what shareware is SUPPOSED to be! I banged this program together for a friend because I was always writing file parsing programs for him. It took me maybe 40 hours to write, and maybe another 40 hours to package. Then came the uploading, but I don't count that, because I do it while watching TV or munching on a sandwhich. Anyway, I've had a good response. It fulfills a need, and people use it. I had to come out with numerous updates, because people have special needs. No problem. I charge them a minor fee (maybe $25) for making the mod "on demand", then add it to the next version. This is the first product I've written that quickly became worth the amount of work I put into it. Admittedly, it's not a HUGE market (lazy programmers), but I think it'll pay for groceries from time to time. There's nothing quite like being the first to fill a shareware niche. Strictly speaking, I shouldn't even mention this product, since some of your readers will suddenly decide to write a parsing program ("Honest, I was gonna do it anyway!") but my desire to get authors talking openly to each other has always been stronger than my desire to make a profit. Yeesh. EXPERIENCES WITH THE SEE UTILITIES ----------------------------- Freeware can make money! Yes, indeed! I wrote a file viewer/printer program named SEE, and teamed it up with a few little utilities. I pass it around, and it's 100% free. Any programmer can use it in his product. The only thing is, he has to include, in his package, my order form for my software collection. ("Four meg for four bucks! It's the Pinnacle Software Maxi Collection!") This is really great. Now I have people paying me money to send them my shareware and freeware. After spending years mailing out review disks -- always footing the postage bill myself -- it's nice to have people giving me money to see my stuff. It's like I'm a mini disk-vendor. Dollar-wise, Sapphire earns me more, but I get more orders for the Maxi Collection than for any other item. Of course, since my profit per unit is $3, it doesn't bring in much money. But everybody who orders is potentially somebody who can register my shareware, and also somebody who can pass it around. Now ALL of my products contain an order form for the Maxi Collection. People don't seem to mind mailing a paltry $4 for 4 meg (plus $2 shipping and handling, but "$6 for 4 meg" just doesn't roll off the tongue the same way). EXPERIENCES WITH THE GO INSTALLATION PROGRAM ------------------- Remember this one, Jim? You featured it in your Goodies collection. It's a series of programs for packaging shareware. My users simply pop a disk in a drive, type A:GO (or B:GO) and everything after that is simple. It should sell well, right? Nope. I get only 2 or 3 regs per week. One reason is that, for some reason, I can't seem to get the sucker listed in the disk vendor catalogs. I have NO idea why this is. The usual comment is something like, "The program SHEZ is a better shell for PKZIP". Huh? Well, live and learn. This taught me that disk vendors review products VERY quickly indeed. So it's easy for them to misunderstand the point of a product. It's up to me to see to it that they understand. By the way, GO is used (or has been used) by such well-known distributors as: Austin ProSoft, BonWare, Hamsoft, KelStar, PC-SIG, PD Select, Soft A'ware, Wagner Enterprises, Witchita AACUG so I know the product is okay. I guess this just goes to prove what I've suspected all along: when it comes to marketing, I'm a great programmer. EXPERIENCES WITH SMARTPHONE, THE AREA CODE HUNTER -------------- Considering that ZipKey (the ZIP code reference) is one of the top sellers in the shareware world, you'd think that an area code reference (which also references cities, time zones, languages, capitals, etc.) would also be a big mover. No such luck. I only get 2 or 3 regs a week for this product. So where's the problem? I asked Paul Mayer (past president of the ASP) to give me his judgement, and he listed a bunch of features that the program HAD to have. It DID have all of them. So where was the problem? Paul kindly took a look at the program (thanks, Paul) and really didn't see anything particularly lacking. (For the record, it is an ASP-compliant program.) Where is the problem, then? I've spent so much time in shareware, and failed so frequently that I've eliminated lots of the more convenient theories, such as, "People are just basically dishonest" or "Aliens steal the cheques from my mailbox". The only solution that made sense was: INSUFFICIENT DISTRIBUTION. I've asked around. You know what? It's just amazing how many people have never heard of me. Just amazing. DISTRIBUTION ------------ If somebody has never seen my product, it doesn't matter how I encourage regs, or what color the opening screen is, or even if it contains the answer to Life Itself; they can't register what they don't have. How do we get wide distribution? I think that's the shareware question for the 90's. We now know that the word "shareware" is a misnomer: people rarely share the average program. (Games and certain utilities are the exception here.) Nevertheless, I have tried to take advantage of whatever sharing there is. My programs now LOUDLY tell the user that it is TO HIS BENEFIT to support shareware, and that to participate in the process, he should pass around MY program. (Yes, user! The program you're using right now! Yes, this one! Pass it on. Do it. Look into my eyes. Pass ... on ... my ... wares!) Strangely enough, I now have some products in which the shareware blurbs, plus the VENDOR.DOC file, plus the order forms, plus the FILE_ID.DIZ, all taken together, are longer than the documentation! I resisted that for years (it seems so gosh- darned wasteful), but I don't see that we have a choice. SAMPLE VENDOR.DOC FILE ---------------------- Over the years, my VENDOR.DOC file has become more and more detailed. I think it has to be that way; vendors get so many new programs in a week (as many as a hundred, I hear) that we have to make their life easy. Those who don't make it easy, will get shoved in the "B" pile ("To be processed if time available"). The example I give below is somewhat abbreviated, to save space in this letter. I also removed the form feeds, which I place carefully to ensure that no page is more than 55 lines long. (55 lines is the max for some laser printers.) Anyway, my VENDOR.DOC looks something like this... Product: Parse-O-Matic Version: 2.30 Copyright: (C) 1992 by Pinnacle Software Author: Timothy Campbell (Pinnacle Software) Keywords: Applications, Database, Import, Export, Text, File, Report Description: (--- I put a 40-word description here ---) See also: Files FILE_ID.DIZ and DESC.SDI for alternate descriptions. Hardware: PC-Compatibles DOS: MS-DOS 3.0 or higher Memory: 500K Disk space: 250K Video: Any display Mouse: Supported but not required Other needs: None Registration: $25 (U.S. or Canadian dollars) Payment via: Cheque, Money Order, CompuServe (SWREG) P.O's: Available --- see documentation Benefits: (--- I list the benefits here ---) Site license: Available LAN support: Available Source Code: (Turbo Pascal) $150 to registered owners, for in-house use only Qty Pricing: (--- A comment about selling retail quantities ---) ---------- FILES LIST ---------- (--- My list of files goes here, with descriptions for each file ---) ------------------ DISTRIBUTION TERMS ------------------ BY DISTRIBUTING THE PRODUCT YOU ARE INDICATING ACCEPTANCE OF THESE TERMS: - You may duplicate, give away or sell unaltered copies of this product. - You may not remove any of the product's files. - You may charge a maximum of US $9 for each copy you sell (see Note #1). - Any copy may be transferred to another storage or distribution medium. - The archiving method used for this copy may be changed. - You may add files to the product, provided the files clearly indicate that they are not part of the original product. - Pinnacle Software reserves the right to revoke all distribution rights for unregistered copies of this product from any party at any time for any reason. However, unless you have been specifically informed of this, you may distribute this product WITHOUT requesting permission. (See Note #2) NOTE #1: In the case of CD-ROM compilations, the selling price is calculated as the price of the CD-ROM divided by the number of products on the CD-ROM. Thus, in such cases, the price is usually only a few cents. NOTE #2: In the case of CD-ROM compilations, you should protect your dist-ribution right by informing us in advance that you will be including our product on the CD-ROM. This is not obligatory. ----------------------- ABOUT PINNACLE SOFTWARE ----------------------- Pinnacle Software is a computer consulting company based in Montreal, Quebec, Canada. We have been writing shareware since 1985. You can contact us at the following addresses: (--- Address info goes here ---) ---------- REPLY FORM ---------- If you are a disk vendor or the sysop of a multi-line BBS, we suggest that you complete the following form and mail it back to us, in order to obtain updates of this product and many others. --------------------------------------------------------- DISTRIBUTOR REPLY FORM FORM DRF-301-0101-PA --------------------------------------------------------- Identification: ( ) Disk vendor ( ) Sysop of a multi-line BBS or network ( ) Other (please explain) Company name: _______________________________________________________ Address: _______________________________________________________ _______________________________________________________ _______________________________________________________ Attention: _______________________________________________________ Voice phone: ____________________ Fax: ____________________________ Bulletin Board: ____________________ Max. Speed: _____________________ Name of your BBS: _______________________________________________________ Diskette format: ( ) 3.5" 1.4 Meg ( ) 3.5" 720K ( ) 5.25" 360K Product reviewed: (--- I insert the product name here, myself ---) It was obtained from: ( ) Author ( ) CompuServe ( ) A friend ( ) Author's BBS ( ) GEnie ( ) Don't remember ( ) Other BBS ( ) AOL ( ) Other ( ) Disk vendor It will be placed in: ( ) Our catalog ( ) Our BBS ( ) Will not use To enable us to ( ) Advertise in local area only ( ) List below refer our customers to your service, _______________________________________________________ please tell us where you advertise _______________________________________________________ Do you send a catalog to authors who send ( ) Yes ( ) Not our policy software to you? How can we improve _______________________________________________________ this form and our VENDOR.DOC file? _______________________________________________________ I put an easy-mailer envelope here. For an example of how that works, see ANY of my products -- they all use 'em. About a third of my regs use the easy-mailer. I don't mind if other authors copy this example of my VENDOR.DOC file. Use it in good health! One thing that is missing is a legal disclaimer. The kind that says that even if the program blows up your computer and gives you rabies, the author doesn't have any liability and in fact may not even care. I leave it to the reader to choose his own wording for the disclaimer. As for me, I try to build that in to the PROGRAM -- surely that's better protection. THE CRIPPLING DEBATE -------------------- I think one of the problems in the shareware world is that there's too much religion and not enough business. People who dare leave out features are excommunicated from catalogs and BBS's by indignant people who are offended that the author would dare hold something back in an obvious way. Alas, as in the Middle Ages, when the Establishment is controlled by a particular religious mind-set, it's hard not to conform. That does not, however, validate the religion. It seems to me that there are authors pushing their ideals, which is fine, but because the distributors happen to find those ideals very convenient, those who don't conform are being frozen out. Thus... It can NOT be convincingly demonstrated that limiting DOES or DOES NOT work, because the shareware establishment will not permit the experiment. The vendor/sysop/author relationship is like a pyramid scheme: people at the top (the vendors/sysops) can make money only if the people on the bottom (the authors) can be fooled. In this case, the authors must be fooled into thinking that writing free software is the way to make money. The people on top have a vested interest in maintaining that illusion. Yet... Less than 5% of shareware authors make a living at shareware. Most shareware authors -- including ASP authors -- have no idea why they aren't making money. Honest discourse about this matter is sometimes hard to find. The shareware world is flooded with loaded terms that often make sensible debate impossible. As a public service, I'd like to propose a heretical thesaurus just to balance things out. ESTABLISHMENT TERM HERETICAL EQUIVALENT ------------------ -------------------- Crippled Limited Nagware Reminderware S=R Virtual freeware Deluxe version Off-disk crippling "Fully" functional Highly functional The "Highly functional" distinction was proposed by author Tony Caine (2COL, JetCol) as a reaction to the prevailing idea that it's "okay" to remove features from a program as long as the PROGRAM doesn't know! This "Deluxe" approach (in which the COMPLETE product is described in the documentation) is generally not considered crippling. (Note for the curious: S=R is the hip term which means "Shareware equals Registered". It is, supposedly, the ideal kind of shareware: the user gets absolutely no new programmatic features for registering.) I'm coming to believe that off-disk crippling is a very good technique --perhaps THE technique to use. I'll have to try packaging some of my stuff with a few helpful (but not essential) features removed. We'll see. THOUGHT EXPERIMENT ------------------ Here's a fun-time thought-experiment for you to enjoy: Week One: You mail a vendor a program that prominently displays the following message whenever it starts up: "If you use this program beyond 45 days, you MUST pay for it. Unpaid use beyond 45 days is not permitted and is an infringement of copyright". Week Two: The vendor loves your program and puts it in his catalog. Week Three: You mail the vendor a new version. The new version is absolutely identical in every way to the previous version except that: (A) It includes a handy new shortcut key to save the user time. (B) It stops working after the trial period is over, though operation can be restored instantly by placing a phone call to the author for an unlocking code, which is always granted -- no questions asked. Week Four: You get a letter from the distributor telling you your update has been refused. "We don't permit crippling," they say. Now, then, their SOLE basis for rejecting your product was: It does not enable the user to perform a criminal act. My goodness. In relating that thought experiment to other authors, I've found that there are two kinds of people: those who "get it" immediately, and those who don't. The latter group tends not to get it, despite my efforts to explain. It's like trying to explain a joke, I guess. So I'll leave it at that. COMPUSERVE ---------- A large chunk of my reg money now comes from CompuServe's SWREG service. This is a service by which people can register programs online. An amazing number of the people who call me are also on CompuServe. (That speaks volumes about my lack of market penetration.) Anyway, SWREG really works. And I love GETTING money from CompuServe! However I should mention that some authors have serious reservations about the SWREG terms and procedures, so you should read the fine print carefully before you jump on board. I'm a little disappointed that CompuServe doesn't promote the service more, or feature it as a place to shop for software. I hope this changes. GENIE ----- I don't work for General Electric, but I'm going to suggest that every author out there drop what they're doing (yes, reading this fascinating letter) and dial 1-800-638-9636 to sign up to GEnie. It's $4.95 a month, billed to your credit card. (Certain restrictions apply, blah blah) In the Home Office/Small Business section, there's a special place just for shareware authors. That alone is EASILY worth the $4.95 a month, though there are lots of other services available. But I'll only talk about the shareware section. Several well-known authors hang out there, and I love it! The price is right, and best of all, it has NO affiliation with any organization, so everybody tells it like it is. It's a breath of fresh air in the somewhat vacuumy world of shareware. A great antidote to all the hype! And much cheaper than the shareware conference on CompuServe. Compare: $4.95 a month versus $12 per HOUR. I should mention, however, that I don't get many regs from GEnie. The business folks (the people who really register) are over on CompuServe. GEnie is more oriented towards the home consumer. MR. CENTRAL DISTRIBUTOR ----------------------- It seems to me that there's still a niche for a central shareware distributor. Somebody that vendors and sysops can use. Somebody who virus-checks the incoming wares then sends a unified packet, once per week, in a format appropriate to the customer (i.e. vendor or sysop). Call it DiskNet or something. Imagine: you mail them one disk, and all the subscribers get a copy. It would leave us programmer types a heck of a lot more time to program, which means better shareware for everybody. I mean, how many hours do I spend on distribution? What a waste for the end-user. Some people have tried to start a central distributor. I've even helped two of them, but both projects are "in development" and have been so for quite some time! The ASP has a good distribution network, but you have to join the ASP. The SDN (Software Distribution Net) covers Fido, but its performance is (I hear) somewhat spotty. A few days ago, I got a mailing from the Software Creations BBS. They say that they're a largish BBS which several major authors use for distribution. Well, anybody can say that, but they seem to have some good ideas. Chief among these is that sysops can obtain the latest software from them BY MAIL. Therefore, if you mail to Software Creations, other sysops also get your software. This, in my opinion, is really nifty. There is no charge to authors because Software Creations quite rightly charges the sysop (not the author) for disseminating the software updates. Their address is: Software Creations 26 Harris Street Clinton, MA USA 01510 They require that all files be submitted as ZIPs, and include a FILE_ID.DIZ (format 10 lines of 45 chars). I wish them luck. I want it to work for them! By the way, at the moment I am doing a controlled experiment to test the distribution potential of the "Archie" services on the InterNet. I'll let you know how that goes. THE TOP 10 VENDORS ------------------ For what it's worth, the authors on GEnie did a pretty darn unscientific poll to determine the top 10 shareware vendors, in terms of author satisfaction. Here's the list we came up with: Baker Enterprises CWI Products & Services J/K Software PC Arcade PC-SIG Public (Software) Library Public Brand Software Reasonable Solutions Shareware Express Simply Software Sizzleware Software Excitement Software Labs Software of the Month The Simple Series The Software Shoppe US/PD Library Really alert readers will notice that my Top 10 list contains 17 vendors. Hey, if I could add, I wouldn't need a computer. FACTS AND FANTASY ----------------- As you know, Jim, I have long been concerned that the shareware world is rife with myths. We are constantly exposed to factoids that are meaningless, which confound and confuse new authors. For example, I recently had these numbers presented to me: Companies earning over a million dollars ...... 12 Those that were ASP members ................... 11 Non ASP ........................................ 1 You can find these numbers (or ones like them) in the well-known Public Brand pamphlet for authors. I consider them misleading. Is Lotus included in the companies that earn over a million dollars? They were passing around crippled versions of their program, after all. How about all those companies that passed around demos? Do THEY count? (Point to ponder: When you review a Lotus or Borland product, all you get to do is look at the package in a store. Talk about crippling!) When the person compiling statistics decides who is and who isn't a "shareware" company, the statistics will inevitably be self-serving. Some more numbers I've be exposed to: Individuals earning a living at shareware ..... 22 Those that were ASP ........................... 13 Non ASP ....................................... 9 I earn a living at shareware, and I'm not one of the 9 listed. How could I be? Nobody ever ASKED me if I earn a living at it. In the recent issue of Steve Hudgik's Homecraft Small Business Journal, in the SSS transcripts, one of the authors -- I think it was Marshall Magee -- said something remarkable: he said that we should not call ourselves "Shareware Authors". Rather, we should call ourselves Software Companies. I think that makes sense. We are not in the business of selling shareware; we are in the business of selling SOFTWARE. So let's come up with our own figures... Million-dollar software companies (world) ... 5000 (pure guess) Those that were ASP members ................... 11 Percentage .................................. 0.2% At this point, I might be accused of ASP-bashing. Okay, I do tend to push back to counter the pro-ASP numbers that are bandied about by distributors who enjoy the ASP's policy of promoting Virtual Freeware. But is it considered "bashing" to quote numbers? How about these numbers: Number of ASP authors ........................ 600 Number earning a living from shareware ....... 25 Percentage ASP success rate ................... 4% (The preceding figures were estimated by myself and presented on GEnie, and were not disputed. I would, however, prefer to have actual figures.) Mark Twain said: "There are three kinds of untruths: Lies, Damn Lies ... and statistics" My numbers can beat up your numbers. To close this letter, I leave you with a story I wrote... THE GRAND PLAN (A PARABLE) -------------------------- Once upon a time, in the far-off land of Wareshire, there were 20 automobile salespersons. One fine day, 3 of the salespersons decided that they were going to come up with a new way to market cars, which they named the "Automobile Salesperson's Plan" (ASP). These 3 salespersons would attract customers in a unique way: they would let them drive the car for as long as they wanted, paying for it if and when they felt like it. They accused the other 17 dealers of having "crippled" cars. "Your cars are time-limited,", they'd say. "The driver can drive one around the block, but then his trial period expires, and if he doesn't pay pay for it then and there, he can't keep using it!" The 3 ASP people attracted many customers. Everybody in Wareshire loved the ASP. Soon, everybody in Wareshire was evaluating cars. Indeed, some drivers were evaluating as many as 10 cars at once! Business was booming; many of the 17 non-ASP people joined the ASP in order to reap in the windfall. Indeed, the non-ASP showrooms were empty! The ranks of the ASP swelled to 10 -- half of the salespersons in Wareshire! One day, at a get-together of salespersons, a saucy little non- ASP dealer said, "Uh, how many of your ASP people are actually earning a living with this Plan?" One ASP person put his hand up, "I do!" "Anybody else?" asked the saucy saleperson. There was a long, uncomfortable silence. "What does that tell us?" he asked. The ASP people said nothing more about the matter. But they met at a doughnut shop and talked quietly about the problem. They decided that, as an incentive, they would throw in some seat covers when the driver actually paid for the car. But to their astonishment, the drivers were prepared to evaluate the cars without the seat covers. "Those are mighty expensive seat covers," said one customer cryptically. There were more late-night meetings at the doughnut shop. Finally, they hit upon a solution. That night, all the expensive cars were towed from the ASP lots, leaving a few used cars and some shiny new Yugos. The next day, the drivers were surprised. "Where are the big cars!?" they exclaimed. "Oh, those are the Deluxe models," said the ASP people. "You can order those separately, but we don't keep them on our lots." One of the drivers whined, "But our family has 10 kids! We can't test-drive a Yugo with 10 kids!" Just then, he spotted a non-ASP salesperson across the road, who was sticking a "Going Out of Business" sign on the windshield of a big, roomy mini- van. "Hey!" shouted the driver, trying to get the salesperson's attention. The salesperson, excited at the prospect of making a sale, ran across the street and was run over by a bus. The moral of the story is: join the ASP or you'll get run over by a bus or something. Have a reg-filled day! Timothy Campbell President Pinnacle Software ------------------------------------------------------------- SIX MONTH STATISTICAL ANALYSIS OF IBM PC FILES AREA FOR GENIE ------------------------------------------------------------- By Timothy Campbell of Pinnacle Software (Phone 514-345-9578) Please feel free to distribute or reprint this document. From date ............ 92/09/21 To date .............. 93/03/18 First file number ....... 30338 Last file number ....... 32208 Total uploads ........... 1870 (Total files uploaded) Remaining on list ....... 1227 (Files never replaced or deleted) FILE EXTENSIONS --------------- COM ..... 6 DSK ..... 14 EXE ..... 81 ZOO ..... 11 TXT ..... 16 GIF ..... 110 PCX ..... 12 ARC ..... 17 ZIP ..... 884 Other ... 13 LZH ..... 63 OVERVIEW OF TOP 100 DOWNLOADS ----------------------------- Comm programs ............ 6 Compress/disk tools ...... 9 Other .................... 10 (Mostly DOS tools & file lists) GIF tools ................ 11 Games .................... 20 R-Rated GIFs/Pgms ........ 44 TOP 25 DOWNLOADS (NOT COUNTING R-RATED) --------------------------------------- DNLDS DESCRIPTION ----- ----------- 418 TELIX 3.2 PROGRAM FILES 1 OF 4 419 Soc Sec Number Check Utility. 448 Math Rescue game from Apogee. 449 High Speed JPEG/GIF/BMP Viewer 451 Windows icons for games,cute chicks 455 Com program that doubles 2400 baud. 471 Excellent paint program for DOS 483 Amazing, true 3-D GIF w/o glasses! 489 Phage Fight - 256-color VGA game 491 VGA Asteroids-style arcade game 494 Current version from 07/01/92. 497 X/Y/ZMODEM Transfer PRGM 521 Incredible Disk-Copying Utility!!! 532 Starfire 1.2: Arcade shoot-em-up 552 List of BEST programs in IBMPC Lib 554 3d Maze game like Wolfenstein 641 Fast IBM graphics display GIF, more 650 Graphics Workshop Ver. 6.1S 674 Scorched Earth v1.21 VGA tank game 689 Worlds BEST GRAPHICS PROCESSOR... 841 Wolfenstein version 1.4 889 Powerful GIF viewer, compressor*ASP 933 Virtual Reality Adventure Game 953 v5.1 of VPIC - Great viewer! 2239 Version 2.04G of PkZip, PkUnzip TOP 5 DOWNLOADS (ALL FILES) --------------------------- DNLDS DESCRIPTION ----- ----------- 1256 R-rated Scan of nude woman 1479 Great 800x600x256 nude scan 1566 R-rated Color Gif of Nude 2239 Version 2.04G of PkZip, PkUnzip 2397 R-rated Scan - Paula Abdul TOP 5 UPLOADERS --------------- UPLDS NAME ----- ----------- 24 A.SAUCCI3 25 M.AMMANNATO 27 J.ELKINS1 40 R.SINSKI ████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████ Please note that older material from previous SMS newsletters, containing HIGHLY valuable marketing information, has been moved to the SMS archives disks which is available from SMS. Consult the GOODIES section of SMS for information on ordering this archived material if you do not have previous editions of SMS. ████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████